Tonight I have my benefit dinner for YWAM. I am super nervous!! I am scared that not enough people will show up or that to many people will show up and there won't be enough chairs! I know I'm overthinking everything but I can't help it. You know when you just sit around and dwell on something for so long it drives you insane, you change your mind about it at least 50 times and somehow it still all works out exactly how it was suppose to? Ya, that's Jesus. I'm learning that I can't control everything on my own, I'm learning that I have to ask for help and I have to live out my faith and not just talk the talk. It is so hard to surrender! I know that is what he's calling me to do, and I know that once I do; funds, school, missions, my small group, church will not be an issue. So why can't I just give up?
Phillipians 3:13-15 states:
"Brethen, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus"
I dwell and reflect on those words. The thought that Jesus our Lord has my life planned if I let the past, present and future go to rely on Him is more than I can handle.
I know His next step for me is to be in Newcastle completely sitting in His presence and reflecting on His glory when I have no one else to turn to is the next step in my chapter.
